Rockstar In Training

So, we finally got back our pathophysiology tests (Nurse Rockstar's class) on Monday, and I was very pleasantly surprised. Sometimes, it's nice to have a victory. Banzai!!!!! Then, today we had a special section with Nurse Rockstar since we've missed so much class due to snow. We were learning about acidosis and alkalosis. Basically, when you hold your breath, your body collects carbon dioxide, and that equals, drum roll please, acidosis. However, when you hyperventilate, you take in loads of oxygen and dump out loads of carbon dioxide. That is alkalosis. It all has to do with hydrogens and pH and Razorback Barbie...I dunno. All I know is, today in class I felt, well, able. I knew the answers to the questions she was asking us. Today, for the first time, I felt like I was thinking like a nurse. It was an extraordinary feeling. I always thought I would first have that feeling in the clinical setting because that's when you're actually caring for patients. But I was wrong. I felt it in a little classroom on a Friday afternoon nowhere near a patient. And I liked it. To my astonishment, I'm finding that I like the geeky, nerdy, sciency part of nursing as much or more than the hands-on stuff. That could be because I haven't gotten to do much hands-on stuff (which changes next week!), or that I'm a little intimidated by the prospect of accidentally killing someome, but no matter the reason I'm saying right here, right now,that I enjoy science. Officially. And I'm a Rockstar in Training. (Which is, of course, the end result of training with Nurse Rockstar.)

Water, the 8th Grade Girl

Just a quick update:

Off to Nurse Rockstar's class to get back our FIRST exam! Yikes! I felt like it wasn't hard, but, then again, so did everyone else. I'll let you know how it goes. In that class, we're starting to study hydrostatic pressure and oncotic pressure. Fun, huh?! Actually, it is so cool. Basically, all you really have to know, is that water follows, um, non-water. It's drawn to it. It's like that eighth grade girl who has a crush on some guy and follows him around everywhere while scribbling his last name (after her first name) all over her notebook. (Of course, I never did that...) Anyways, so when someone has edema (swelling), you have to figure out why water is following something out of the veins into surrounding tissue. It's elementary, my dear Watson. I think it's pretty stinking cool.

Agent Bedpan is teaching us about nursing diagnoses. And goal setting. And interventions. When I see a patient, I need to figure out what is wrong, and what COULD go wrong. Then, I set a goal for the patient (what the patient is supposed to do. I.e. get out of bed every four hours.) Then, I come up with my intervention, i.e. Assist patient in getting out of bed every four hours. And for all of this, I need to provide a rationale: Getting out of bed will improve patient's circulation. Capish? How do you spell Capish anyways? I only know the word because Blossom used to say it on her show, and I thought it sounded cool. Of course, none of the students I go to school with have even heard of Blossom.

So, now, I need to read about edema and pressure and water and so on. And eat. I shant forget to eat. I hope you are feeling blessed. See you later!

P.S. As an aside, I had to take all three of my kids to school with me today because they all had a snow day. As we were leaving, Archie (my 4 year old) slid on the ice and fell. He atood back up super-embarassed. Almost immediately, two college guys who were walking near us slipped nearly simultaneously and fell on their behinds. Archie saw how funny it was and felt, well, cool. God provides in the most curious ways.

Agent Bedpan

So, I've spent loads of time talking about Nurse Rockstar. But, there's another teacher I haven't talked as much about. I should start by saying that I'm pretty thoroughly convinced that this particular teacher is actually working for the CIA. Seriously. She will be lecturing us in class, and then toss out things like "Oh, and that's like the time that I was chased by the KGB." Or "One time I was almost deported to Siberia." Then there's the story of when she was nearly murdered on a train in Belgium. (Or was it France?) The only logical conclusion, of course, is that she is, in fact, a CIA agent. This, combined with this week's validation, renders the name Agent Bedpan. That brings me to my next point.

Today, Agent Bedpan validated me on Bedpans, Bed Baths, and Back Massage. This must sound sort of, well, basic. But I assure you that there's much more to it than meets the eye. It seems like there are so very many things to think about. I find myself wondering if, when I'm actually a real-live nurse sometime in the next millenium, I will find my brain actually exploding some day in the middle of a night shift because I had to think of one thing too many during a procedure. Boom. Handsome Kenny says that nursing will be like flying. (He's, um, a helicopter pilot.) In flying, says he, there a billion things to think about. When you first go to flight school, you look at all the buttons and gadgets in the cockpit, and go, "Whoa. I'm gonna crash. There's NO WAY I can use all these things at once." But, you learn them one at a time, and before long, it's all second nature. You don't have to keep thinking about them...you just do. Not think. Do. I'm hoping that he's right. That with enough practice I will be able to remember all these things...not just remember them but also know instinctively what to do in the heat of the moment. And I will have Agent Bedpan to thank. Have a good weekend!!